Effects of family on the society

These days, our community is unhealthy, not only because of bad leaders and governance. The corrupt and inappropriate acts begin with us, the individuals, and our families. An unhealthy family cannot beget good fruits (children) for the family. Even the so-called healthy ones are now unhealthy for one reason or another.

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This post was inspired by a discussion I had with a friend recently where she was lamenting how heartbroken she was that our country had turned out the way it is now. In her words, she said, "No one cares about integrity anymore; money is what everyone is after, irrespective of how it is gotten." Then she said, "Money is the root of all evil." It was then that I disagreed with her. Then I asked myself, Is money the root of all these evils?

I came up with the answer that money wasn't the root of all these evils; the love of money is, and that's covetousness and greed. Money is just a contributing factor, not the main factor, and why is it a contributing factor? After my discussion with her, I was troubled, and I kept asking myself, "How did we get here?". I needed an answer to my question, and this made me put a call through to my grandfather, a wise man I know, and ask him some questions.

My first question was, "Is money the root of all these evils we are experiencing in our society today?". He said, "Money is not the major factor; it's just an assisting factor with much influence." I got lost when he said that, and I had to think deeply to understand him. Then he further said, giving reference to his generation and century, "During our days, there isn't anyone called poor; do you know why?" he asked me. I replied no, and then he answered, "Because no one was lazy, and there was love and peaceful co-existence, even when one needs help, there are hundreds of individuals ready to help.

He further said, "There is contentment, and that is an important quality every human should possess. No one is after riches then; what matters most to them is their integrity and protecting their family names and theirs. During their time, there were no or a small number of greedy people who covet what was not theirs, and there was a standing law for offenders that was active enough to correct any wrongdoings. Unlike today, where innocents are being punished in place of offenders",

These words got to me, and it made me see how far we've departed from good to worse. My second question was, "What was the major factor for all these acts?". "Family and pressure," he said, and then I saw that our thinking is sure alike; after all, I'm his granddaughter. I asked, "How is family the major factor?" "Take a look at the families we have in our societies today, families where marriages only last a year, some six months. Children being raised by single parents have no family mentality, no matter how little is inculcated in them. What then did you expect from an unhealthy family where children see their mothers or fathers go through domestic violence every day?".

I was dumbfounded because all he said was true. These are the families we have in our societies today. "Back in our days, these were times when polygamous families were the order of the day, yet we live in peace with one another," he continued. Then he told me a story about his parents while growing up. "My father got married to two wives; I'm sure you know, we all live in a compound and eat together as a family; you can't differentiate between the first wife's children and the second wife unless we tell you; that was how we were raised, and the love we grew with is still evidence in our lives today, for those of us that are still alive," he concluded.

Then I replied, "Today's generation, blood siblings don't love one another, not to mention step-siblings." And it is true that families no longer teach morals. You will see families telling a sixteen- or seventeen-year-old teenager to bring money to support the family. It is so much worse that children no longer have a proper upbringing as in the olden days. The pressure a young teenager is facing is much bigger than the so-called parents themselves. Imagine telling a teenager to work hard and do whatever it takes to take care of his or her siblings.

Such a child would want to go the extra mile to do whatever it takes to fit into that responsibility, which wasn't his at that young age. This goes on and on, flocking our societies with youngsters who want to make it by any means. Families no longer teach the importance of integrity and patience; what matters most is money. Some don't mind who they had to step on to get that money; this is why kidnapping and abduction are professions today.

You have to inculcate the right teachings in children; this will be their guardian when they go out into the world. However, some derail from the right teachings when they go out due to peer pressure. But with a good family, such individuals can be put back on the right track. Upbringing is a very important factor in a healthy society. A child with a poor family upbringing will exhibit what he possesses outside while contaminating those of good breeds who are just getting to know how life works.

This is why the family has lots of work to do in building a healthy and peaceful community where integrity and contentment rule. A society where love governs and everyone is happy.

Thanks for your time and your comments will be appreciated.