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RE: The Blue of Grief, The Gold of Memory: Spring
It does hurt when someone close to your heart passes away. May it be a family member, friend, or pet. Your story reminds me of my Japanese Spitz.
When I was in grade school I had a dog that I fondly named Fluffy because of his snow-white mane and canine. He is so charming, loyal, playful, and affectionate, the usual character of a Japanese Spitz. My brother trained and taught him so many tricks. What I loved about him was that he would run fast to meet me, and he would wag his beautiful tail, a sign that he wanted to carry my bag. He was the darling in my family until one day when I was about to leave for school, I saw him lying in front of our gate, which was unusual. I called him to let him get in the house because my brother was assigned to feed him every morning. But to my surprise, he did not respond, so I checked on him and found out that he was dead. He was poisoned. I had a heavy heart going to school on that day and could not concentrate on my lessons. I was crying throughout the day and my teacher was pacifying me to take my blues away. Since then, I do not want to have any other pet and I do not want any other dog. That's why I can relate to what you feel right now.
The same thing happened to me. I was crying while I was conducting my lesson. My student, who is a psychology teacher in her country, asked me why I am crying. I told her what happened, then she asked me if I wanted to cancel the class, and we will continue next time. I said no, I feel even better when I have someone to talk to. Spring will always be in our hearts, and we are still hurting until now. We deeply treasure the time, especially when we arrive home or when there were some people outside, and no one will warn us anymore.