Nothing
Nothing, nada, zip, zero, zilch, you are owed nothing, you deserve nothing. I know this might come as a surprise to some folks out there, but you are not the center of the universe. All the questions that you think you deserve answers to are likely going to go unanswered, and you have to be okay with that.
As you may or may not know, I work for a public school district in the United States. About twice a month we have public school board meetings at our district like many other districts across the country. Actually, I take that back. Most districts only have one meeting a month, but for some reason our district has gotten in the habit of having two. Yay!
It used to be that the meetings would go pretty quickly. I'd say about fifteen to twenty minutes to cover all the business that needs to be covered and then "adjourned" and we were out the door. More and more lately however, the meetings have been trending closer to an hour long due in most part to one agenda item....
Public Comments
Just like social media, everyone seems to have an opinion these days and they are more than willing to share it with anyone who will listen (and even some of those who aren't listening!). I could literally share a dozen examples with you, but I'm going to take one from our most recent meeting. We had a lady stand up during public comments and go on a three minute long (that's all the time they get thankfully) rant about one of the coaches at the district and how horrible they are.
Finally, at the end of her rant, she mentioned the fact that she brought these same issues to the building principal and the athletic director and they were right on top of getting it taken care of.
I just sat there wondering "then why in the hell are you here talking to the school board about it?". If you brought the issue up the chain of command, and it was taken care of, why stand up in a public forum at all?
And that's the issue...
People these days require shared outrage, they thrive on it. They have this misguided belief that somehow the universe owes them something, that they deserve justice on some level from the cosmic nether. Add to that the fact that people also can't handle disappointment these days, and it's a flashpoint for babbling rants on social media and virtual witch hunts.
Don't get me wrong, I think there should absolutely be accountability, but as I mentioned before, for many things, there is a chain of command. You take something to the person directly responsible, if nothing happens, you go up a level. This whole idea of jumping right to the top of the hierarchy is an "everyone gets a trophy" mentality that is getting tiresome.
I think people do drop the ball, and I think they do it quite often. In those cases, absolutely go right to the top and try to get some answers. At least ask the questions, but you still might not get the answers.
Quite frequently my wife (who also works in the school district) has parents whose child was involved in some disciplinary action with another student at the school. It never fails, they want to know what the punishment was for the other child as well.
You don't get to know that
First off, it doesn't really matter, focus on your own child and they might not be the holy terror that they are. Second, it would be a FERPA violation for us to disclose that anyway.
I'm sure if you spend any time on social media (if you don't, good for you!), you have seen posts from people thinking they are owed answers to some question. Trust me, it doesn't take that long to find at least one post. In fact, there are whole groups dedicated to it. You might recall the "small city complains" groups I have referenced in the past.
As I said in the beginning though, you don't always get to know all the answers. It sucks I know, but you have to be okay with it, because the answers aren't owed to you. You deserve nothing. The hope is that karma or some cosmic force will work it all out in the end. You can either have faith in that, or you can go through life with your bitterness and your bitter friends.
Again, I'm not saying there shouldn't be accountability, and I am also saying there shouldn't be checks and balances in power structures. I understand that given how corrupt the world is these days, it's hard to trust anything at face value.
But I have seen the opposite extreme (twice a month), and believe me, it isn't pretty.
Sports Talk Social - @bozz.sports
I agree that things have gotten a bit out of control/balance. It's good to hold people accountable but it's another thing altogether to expect special treatment, believe you're better than others, have unrealistic expectations, or to always have a chip on your shoulder. There are so many people walking around this world who feel they're naturally entitled because they were born into the world and are breathing. What a tough existence it would be to have this kind of mentality, both for the individual and for everyone else around them. It would have to feel like you were a salmon swimming up stream.
Haha, yes, that is a good way to put it! I think in some cases the people haven't felt that entitlement before, but they are over compensating for what little they lacked in the past. I don't know...
Maybe that's actually the reason behind people going over the top with their complaints. The power structure is not equally balanced, and only is if everyone treats it that way. In the pre-World-War 1 Germany, there was something called "Der Staat als Ehrenmann", the state as man of honor. Meaning, nobody had to even question the state because the state was inherently good and would do all in their power to serve the people. BS, of course, but that's the ideal of a democracy. Having the three pillars keep each other in check. But as you state correctly, the world is corrupt and becoming more corrupt, so who to trust? Yourself. I wrote a post about that just yesterday, if you'd like to read.
Then, as well, there's the tendency of society breaking apart, individualizing and rewarding instinctual/egoistic more than value/socially oriented behavior. If someone cares mostly about them, they will rant to everyone at once, hoping that someone will solve their problem, without considering the amount of resources that takes away from others.
Oh, and of course the kick of feeling like being better. The ego-boost of ranting about someone, making them small to feel bigger. Never underestimate that.
I'm sorry that you have to see the decline of humanity first hand. Children are the mirrors of their parents, and that must be very frustrating sometimes. Thank you for doing that job.
I get that people probably just want to feel validated. It's definitely a good feeling, but like everything else that we have seemingly become addicted to, validation is moving towards the top!
Privacy and not sharing what happens with students is very important, schools can get into trouble quickly and it's a bit crazy how people skip the normal steps and show up at meetings to complain even after things have already been resolved, maybe if schools explained better how they handle problems parents wouldn't end up making a big deal out of nothing but sometimes people just like to create drama or feel like they're being heard, if there were simpler guidelines or something for parents these meetings would focus on what really matters and not turn into a place where everyone vents although its also part of the dynamic I guess
I agree, communication is key and I will be the first to admit that things slip through the cracks when you are dealing with a large number of people from various walks of life with a variety of means. Sadly, this returning public schools to the community idea is bringing out all the people who just want their 5 minutes of Internet fame.
It's true - not everything needs to be a public spectacle, especially when the issues are already being handled. It feels like some people just want the performance of outrage more than actual solutions. Accountability matters, for sure, but so does trusting the process and recognizing that not every question gets an answer - and that's okay. Your perspective from inside the system really brings clarity. Appreciate the real talk!
Yes, you touched on all of the points very well. Thank you!
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We live in a #TooFuckeh world where most decisions are based on, well, an opinion.
People are products of their environment. Their rants and antics is your feedback to underlying problems in their environment. If you can get the noise level down you will be in a better position for process improvement.
Easier said then done if the parent does not have the necessary tools and resources.
Unfortunately we live in a mostly reactive world with lots of inequalities.
You have my respect for being an educator. Not an easy job to do well.
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I think plenty of parents have the tools and resources, they are just too concerned about who they are going to hook up with or what their plans for the weekend look like. It's almost like they have all devolved to high school students!
Sound like you are getting it narrowed down. If they have the resources then they need good guidance in resources management. This is where some proactive programs can help the community.
I am sure you are familiar with...
Some people are here for a good time and not a long time so they may not be thinking of the impact of their actions or inactions on future generations.
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That sounds like pure torture, twice a month... Inane drivel from everyone who likes to hear the sound of their own voice.
I worked very hard for everything I have achieved, no silver platter or free trophies. It's a shame that things have changed so much since I was a kid.
It's downright crazy. It's getting so the board members like talking about non issues as well now. I've started going to just one meeting per month now.
I hate when this happens and I see it as a deliberate search for attention.
There's a reason for the chain of command, no need for you to skip a rung especially when the preceding party of the complaint has said they'll look into it😔
Yeah, I about fell on the floor when I heard her say that last part. It's really not respectful to other people's time. It's absolutely a cry for attention!
Twice a month seems excessive, maybe now with these 3 minute ranters they might cut the schedule back to one a month!
I doubt it. They like the control of approving the budget and stuff. Otherwise they would have to have a "work session" so payroll can get done.
Lol oh yes I know budget approvers and their love of control!
Exactly 💯 as an individual we can't know all, but focusing on self value evaluation will be the best...
Great rant, and so true!
Thanks! It's getting worse and worse each year! Maybe it's just that I am getting older and older each year!
I know that the common accepted term in English is "helicopter parent" but I think the Japanese get it right on this one: they call these people "monster parents".
I guess we've always had monster parents, but these days it does seem to be getting worse, with so many of them thriving on the outrage high.
Yes, that is a very apt way to put it!
Why did you say this?! I deserve to know! Hahaha.
For real! All of these are just bullshit! No one holds us an explanation and even if they do, we should learn to still live on and not be bothered about it. Trying to always get answers won’t change anything, maybe little but sometimes it’s best not to get some answers to some questions.
I like the part where you said “you are not the center of the universe!” That’s the simple truth and the sooner we all accept that, the better for everyone.
People just need to let things go, but they can't. They think they deserve something that is not guaranteed to them.
They will learn the hard way then.
@themarkymark, haven’t you figured it out yet? Downvoting doesn’t change the truth. Here’s what needs to happen:
The evidence is clear, and the community deserves better. It’s time to take responsibility and make these changes—now.