I Wasn't Avoiding You, I Was Fighting My Own Battles || LOH 309

Some years ago a close friend of mine made an assumption about that that made me not just angry but also disappointed, and to be honest, I felt that way because this is someone I held dear and expected to reach out to to hear the full story rather than jump to a conclusion based on what he saw. We can't call ourselves friends, and immediately you noticed something about me. Your first action isn't to reach out to me or know I'm not that kind of person, but instead you reach a conclusion and even go on to spread the same all around.

But then, via that particular situation and other ones I've experienced and seen from other people's lives, I've come to learn that such is the nature of humans for you. The lesson is how it seems quite easy for humans to jump to conclusions based on your silence, appearance, or even incomplete information they hear about you. That isn't the way to go, and that's why I'm particularly pained by the friend's assumption about me when he could have easily asked to confirm what's actually going on. Now I can't get hurt about such issues like I did back then again, and that's because I've learned that humans then create their own version of an explanation for something once they see or hear a partial side of a story that's visible to them.

The reason why I was pained is one because the assumption wasn't true at all, and secondly because of how he didn't stop at assuming that to himself but went on to share the same conclusion with other people around our circle. I'm sure you'll be wondering what he did to me. Well, it's that I was intentionally distancing myself from him, and he immediately felt that I was doing that because I now have a good job and feel like I'm above his level, but the reality is that I'm not ignoring him; I'm just going through a lot of personal issues, and that made me need lots of time to myself to sort things out.

Although I was angry, I didn't react badly; instead, I simply called him over during the conversation with our circle that brought about the awareness of his assumption, and I told him all his assumptions were wrong. I then went on to tell him the challenges I was going through at that moment. He thought I was distancing myself from him, especially my health challenges. It was good to know that in the end, the conversation helped clear the misunderstanding, and he understood his mistake and apologized. Why, in the end, I didn't hold any grudges against him was because I know I myself have at times made assumptions too.

Overall this experience has helped me come to the understanding that we don't know everything someone is going through except what we see or are told, because someone not responding could be because they're busy or they're going through one life challenge or the other. And with that realization, I've made it a point of duty not to judge people anyhow; instead, I'll ask for clarification. Because someone misunderstood us doesn't mean we have to defend ourselves in an aggressive way, except if you felt that's the only way you can defend yourself. But then sometimes, it could be done in a calm manner like I did, and let the evidence or time reveal the truth.

All photos are mine.