If I die young.

I believe we all have this strong will to live, be healthy, and have a fun life. It's something I believe every sane human will feel, but I won't turn a blind eye to the reality of those who do not. Yes, I have met certain people who would rather prefer someone to give them money to treat themselves freely when they have a substantial amount sitting in their account.

Yes, people like that exist. People who don't take their “health-life" seriously but rate money highly, and it is very disturbing for someone like me to be in the midst of such a person. Though I do feel sad for them. Sad that they have this sort of poverty mindset that can never be healed because they are slaves to the money they worked their butt's off for. Not to give the money out but to just see it rise up while they struggle to breathe because of a certain illness. I believe it sort of gives them pleasure. Not spending and hoping someone buys things or gives them things is much preferable in their books.

Depression is also a prime factor that makes people disregard themselves. You see, when depression kicks in, those thoughts creep in as well. Yeah, "death thoughts." The need for death surpasses the urge to be alive, and that's how the little wrist cut comes in.

It is truly sad what depression can do to us. It breaks us apart and renders us useless, and that's one thing I believe is super hard to come out of, especially when the cause of it is something that can't be fully expressed.

A close friend called yesterday while I was in a meeting, but I didn't pick up and ended the call. After the meeting, I called back and explained to her why I didn't pick up, and then it hit me. The death of her cousin. Though she tried to sound okay, I knew she wasn't.

I couldn't help asking what happened.

"He was sick, they rushed him to the hospital, they did what they could but he didn't make it."

...and I wanted to cuss so badly. How could he have gotten that badly sick and proper attention wasn't given to him until it became worse? I wanted to question, but I bit my lower lip and held myself back.

I was in pain because I knew the boy. A young soul who I was told was happy about his new belt and shoe for school. It is sad, isn't it? How he died so young and I couldn't help but be grateful for being alive till this moment.

I know how sick I was last year that I wasn't sure being alive was a sure thing because the other was too sure and tempting. It is one of the reasons I had decided to travel a lot this year, and I am glad I am able to pull that off.

But, what about the young soul? Why him?

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The Band Perry; If I die young.

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I wish there was something I could do, but sadly, there's nothing. I am dedicating this song to him and hope he can see from heaven and know he is loved.

His mother... I am not sure. I'm not too sure what to say to her, so I haven't called. I do hope she won't be depressed and look at his younger ones. Maybe she'd find strength in them because I know that it will be hard for her.

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Jon Hopkins; Forever held.

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Heaven? Maybe he is there. I mean, I don't know how God judges younger souls, but I wish he is in a beautiful place where he is held forever in love and peace.

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Amy Lee; Speak to me.

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Speak? Maybe in angelic voices and be among the brightest stars.

I do hope that life becomes bearable, livable, and exciting. If you've lost someone, I hope you find healing in life, and if depression sets in, I hope you survive it. Don't give up on life, and most especially, don't give up on yourself. You may not see it now, but there's a lot much better ahead of you.

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All videos used were gotten from #YouTube.

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Still yours truly,
Balikis.

Thanks for reading and listening.

Peace be unto those who crave it and more to those who chase it away.