“8-10 Abuses a Day Is His Right”: When Religion Becomes a Weapon Online

_{"Mufti Tariq Masood" Image used under section 107 of Copyright Act 1976}

A Clip, a Laugh, and a Problem

A few days ago, a clip of a well-known Pakistani religious scholar, Mufti Tariq Masood, went viral. A mufti is someone qualified to give religious rulings in Islam, so when a mufti speaks, millions of people take his words as guidance on how to live, how to treat their families, and what God expects from them.

In this clip, he said that a husband who earns and pays the bills has the "right" to give his wife 8-10 verbal abuses a day.

The audience laughed.

I didn't. And judging by the reaction online, neither did a huge number of people, including many Muslims like me.

I'm a Muslim myself, so let me say this clearly before you scroll away thinking "this is a Muslim issue, not my problem": this post isn't really about Islam. It's about something every religion, every country and every political side is dealing with right now: people on the internet teaching absolute nonsense in the name of religion, and millions of followers defending it without thinking.

What He Actually Said

When the clip went viral, his followers did what followers always do. "It's out of context." "Watch the full video." "He was joking."

So I listened to the full, uncut version. It didn't help his case. It made it worse.

Here are his own words, translated by me from Urdu as faithfully as I could. I've bolded the parts I find most disturbing.

On a woman who told him another husband respects his wife more than hers does:

"I investigated. I found out that the husband who gives so much respect, his wife has a job. She pays for herself and her children. The husband pays his own expenses separately. And this woman, whose husband doesn't give her that much respect, he's paying for everything himself. I said, your husband is ten million times better. These are English manners, saying thank you, thank you. Spending cash isn't part of it at all."

"Brother, your husband bought you a house, pays for gas and electricity. Now only one 'thank you' is missing from his tongue. Let it go, man. What's it costing you?"

On why a woman should accept abuse if money comes with it:

"The woman will say, just give me the money. Even if there are 10 abuses before it and 20 abuses after it. If your boss gives you Rs. 50 after 25-30 abuses, a man says, give me 25 more, but give me the money."

On children being hit by their parents:

"A son becomes resentful over one or two slaps, 'my father hits me'. How shameless. Your father is earning for you."

The line that went viral:

"Here, a man carries on his shoulders the burden of his children, his sisters, his parents, and even an unemployed brother. After carrying all these burdens, if he gives 8-10 abuses daily, it's his right. While passing by, he should just parcel off the abuses. Give him at least that much right, he's spending so much money, brother."

In his "clarification" afterwards, he said he never told anyone that a husband who feeds his wife has the right to abuse her. Yet in another clip, he said:

"A Muslim has a very big heart. He makes big sacrifices for a woman, brings her home with honour, supports her children, respects her father, her brothers, her mother. So my brother, after all that, if he sometimes lets out four or six abuses, our Prophet ordered the woman to obey her husband."

And these aren't his only clips like this:

"Keeping a dog is forbidden anyway. Then what should one keep? Nothing at all? No. First of all, keep wives."

"A man told me, my wife talks to a strange man on Skype in front of me. I said, give her two slaps. Women say, what if the husband is bad, what do we do? ... A man being immoral is also an evil. A woman being immoral is an evil of a far higher degree."

"Girls are being given open freedom. Girls are being preferred in job vacancies. When the husband sits there and sees attractive women all around him, his own wife will start looking old. In such a situation, we advise women: if he's fulfilling your basic rights, comes home, smiles a little and sometimes talks politely, then something is better than nothing. When he gets old, he'll leave these things himself. Keep getting by, and keep lovingly advising your husband."

Read those again, slowly. If a husband's wife talks to another man, the advice is two slaps. If the husband cheats, the advice to the wife is patience until he gets old.

Money Is Not a License to Abuse

Let me be fair first. In a country like Pakistan, a man who earns honestly and supports his wife, children, parents, siblings and sometimes an unemployed brother is carrying a heavy load. That deserves respect and gratitude, and I won't pretend otherwise.

But gratitude is not submission. Paying someone's bills doesn't buy you ownership of their dignity.

If we follow his logic, the boss who pays your salary can abuse you, the parent who feeds you can beat you, and the husband who pays rent can insult his wife every day. Whoever holds the money holds the right to humiliate. That's not a family. That's a transaction, and an ugly one.

What about the woman who raises the children, stays up through the nights with them, runs the home, serves her in-laws, stays loyal and protects the family's honour? Is none of that "contribution" just because nobody pays her a salary? In much of Pakistan, she has often brought a heavy dowry into the home too. Is her effort invisible because it isn't measured in rupees?

Verbal and financial abuse are abuse
Domestic abuse isn't only physical. The World Health Organization recognizes psychological abuse (insults, humiliation, intimidation, constant belittling) as a form of intimate partner violence. Financial abuse means using money to control someone: making them dependent, constantly reminding them who pays, or treating financial support as a reason they must tolerate mistreatment. Both leave deep, long-term damage, especially on mental health, and they're often harder to prove than bruises.

The Double Standard Nobody Wants to Talk About

What bothers me most isn't one clip. It's the pattern behind it.

When a husband complains about his wife, the advice goes to the wife. When a wife complains about her husband, the advice still goes to the wife. When she makes a mistake, divorce or slaps are on the table. When he makes the same mistake, she's told to be patient and wait.

This mindset quietly assumes a woman has no self-respect, no emotions, no limit. Abuse her, abuse her parents, cheat on her, and she'll adjust. That isn't Islam, and it isn't faith. That's a society hiding its habits behind religion.

Islam Itself Disagrees With Him

Here's the part I want my readers to notice. The loudest pushback didn't come from outsiders or "anti-religion" people. It came from Muslims like me, using our own blog.

The Quran explicitly warns against reminding people of the favours you've done for them:

"O you who have believed, do not invalidate your charities with reminders [of it] or injury." (Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:264)

There's also a hadith in Sahih Muslim in which the Prophet said that on the Day of Judgement there are three people God will not speak to, will not look at, and will not purify, and one of them is the person who keeps reminding others of what he gave them.

Our Prophet never abused his wives, and our tradition is full of teachings against abusive language. The religion he has studied his whole life, the same one I follow, says the opposite of what he taught from the pulpit.

My future wife is a religious scholar herself. I've seen up close how faith in the right hands builds dignity instead of crushing it. That's exactly why clips like this make me angry, as a Muslim and as a human being.

This Isn't a Muslim Problem, It's an Internet Problem

Islam isn't the only religion where this happens. Every faith has its versions of this. There's the preacher who tells an abused wife it's her duty to stay. There's the "guru" who says women are lesser by nature. There's the influencer who quotes scripture to justify control. Different religions, different languages, same pattern:

1. Someone with a religious title says something harmful.
2. The internet turns it into a clip, and it goes viral.
3. Blind followers defend it with "out of context", "he was joking" or "you don't understand religion".
4. The speaker uploads a "clarification" that often repeats the same idea in softer words.
5. Nothing changes, until the next clip.

The internet gave everyone a microphone. It didn't give everyone knowledge, wisdom or responsibility. And when a person with a religious title says something, millions of people don't hear an opinion. They hear God.

A pulpit is not a stage for stand-up comedy. If a joke can convince even one man that abusing his wife is his "right", it was never just a joke.

What We Can Do

Stop treating titles as proof. A beard, a robe, a title or a huge follower count doesn't make someone right. If a religious figure says something that clearly hurts people, question it. Most of the time, people from the same faith will be the first to tell you it's wrong.

Don't share outrage without thinking, but don't excuse harm either. Check the full context, yes. But if the full context makes it worse, have the honesty to admit it.

Raise daughters who can stand on their own feet. Educate your daughters, give them skills and confidence, so that tomorrow no man can abuse her just because he puts food on the table. Financial independence doesn't guarantee safety, but it gives a woman choices.

Raise sons who never need that lesson. Respect shouldn't be something a woman has to buy with a salary. Teach boys that providing for a family is a responsibility, not a weapon.

Celebrate the right people. We keep making celebrities out of people who say outrageous things, because outrage gets views. Give your attention to people who actually make society better.

Over to You

Have you seen something similar from a religious figure in your own country or faith, someone teaching harm in God's name while people from that same faith pushed back? Share it in the comments.

Because one thing I'm sure of: every human being is born with dignity, and no amount of money, title or religion gives anyone the right to take it away.