We Will Never Get Time Back

There’s no doubt that growing older does come with a lot of lessons that give us more clarity into the outcome of any decision we decide to take in the future. When we finally adopt the growth mindset and intentionality that comes with doing better for ourselves and those we love, we’re reminded of what a precious gift knowledge is.

For me, one lesson I’ve learned is that we will never get time back. I used to be that nonchalant young girl who didn’t bother about a lot of things that may have been important. I was surrounded by love, but somehow, I always postponed life with those who I cared about because I thought we would have forever.

I remember going through a hard time a few years back, and my best friend who knew my struggles with communicating my feelings, did her best to be there for me whenever I needed her. But of course, everybody has to have freaking limits. I like to think that she reached hers and couldn’t cope with my failings.

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The silent withdrawal leading up to our friendship breakup caused me a lot of pain, and if I had known better, I would have done everything within my power to communicate more clearly and confide in her, no matter how difficult it was. But I no longer have the time now, and we are no longer best friends, and that has remained my first experience of learning my biggest lesson in life.

I also had times in the past when my casual friends would invite me out for evening sit-outs, movie dates, and loud parties. I would often decline the invitation because of the fear of being too accessible or tempted to show parts of myself I still wanted to keep private.

These days, I realize that most of those people now have different lives, just like I do. Some have relocated, others have become too busy with their jobs, and a few have been forced to become recluses due to life’s difficulties. We all no longer have as much time as we did back then, and once again, if I knew we would never have time back, I would have taken all those chances to spend my weekends with them, thrown caution into the seas, and just had fun because life is to be enjoyed.

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The hard part of these experiences has got to be me losing a few of these people whom I would have shared physical memories with if I wasn’t keen on being a total homebody. They’re dead and no longer here to do life with me. I will never get to say the lovely words I wanted to say to them and I will never have the chance to give them the beautiful gifts and surprises I had planned in my head. All of it has hurt me to the point of learning a lifelong lesson.

I would’ve loved to say a thing or two to my younger self, but I’ve figured there’s no point in it. Instead, these days I live in accordance with Dolly’s words to not have regrets about anything because they are all part of life’s experiences. So if I want something, I’ll go for it NOW. If life’s hitting me too hard, I pick a day to go have fun. If I miss my friends, I make quick plans to see them as long as they’re within reach. And if there’s someone I believe is in a position to help my career, I approach them without fear of embarrassment.

Most importantly, I’m committed to fighting to actualize my dreams rather than leaving it to chance, and that’s because I’ve learned that I will never get time back, so I’ll rather give it my all now that I’ve got the time to.

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