Breaking the silence: finding my voice

This thing called fear can control one if care is not taken. Growing up I was really scared of speaking up for myself, I was afraid of saying how I truly felt. With this fear I rarely talk about anything affecting me or disturbing me and when I tried to talk, most times I'm being misquoted or seen as rude. This fear affected my happiness, my confidence, and my peace of mind.

Growing up, I learnt to keep quiet when something hurt me or pains me. Anytime I'm being treated unfairly by elders or even my friends, I just keep quiet and smile. I help people even when I'm tired, exhausted, or when I have little time. I actually thought saying no meant I was wicked or I was being unkind.

I won't say I have conquered it as the topic says, but I'm trying and I'm getting better and stronger while trying. This fear followed and is still following me, there are times that I was hurt but I kept quiet, I feared that if I talked or said something that people will see me as a bad person. My silence cost me respect, it made people to see me as weak

I came to realize I was there for others for no one was there for me or realize how hurt I was. The first time I spoke up I was scared but I knew I had to if I wanted to grow and become stronger. That first meant really changed a lot and it was at my work place, I had always kept quiet and allowed my colleagues to treat me anyhow, but when I spoke up that day, some people were surprised and they were like, they didn't know I could talk this much.

I haven't conquered this fear totally as I said earlier but I'm getting better and it's teaching me self worth. It's teaching me that peace doesn't come when you just keep quiet.

Image is mine.