The Fiery-Faced Monster

“I don’t feel it anymore,” Patrick whispered to his best friend, Sam.

“What do you mean? What do you no longer feel?”

“Resentment,” Patrick whispered again like someone on the throes of euphoria.

“Towards who?” Sam was interested. He’d never seen his friend like this.

“Him. Her. All of them. It’s gone.”

Sam knew exactly what his friend was talking about. He’d seen him at the depths of his despair from his closest friends’ betrayal and the blinding rage that has consumed him for months on end.

“But how do you know? For as long as forever, you’ve avoided anything that had to do with them. So what makes you think the resentment is gone?”

Patrick took a deep breath. The joy flowing through his veins in torrents was almost too much to bear. “Because now I want them to do well. Because now I’m genuinely rooting for their success.”

Sam inclined his head forward to hear more. Patrick continued.
“I met them, you know? I ran into both of them yesterday. They looked well. And the happiness I felt seeing that they were okay surprised me. That hot white rage that made me feel like my body was combusting on itself each time I saw anything that had to do with them was empty. I searched and searched hard for that rage. But all that remained was calm.”

Sam was baffled. “So, you’ve completely forgiven and forgotten everything?”

Patrick chuckled. “Forgiven, yeah. Forgotten? Might take a while.” Patrick gave his loyal friend a pat on the back. “But that’s what happens when resentment leaves. You do not have to forget everything. You don’t even need to try. But now it’s clear that the rage no longer has power over you. It no longer moves and controls your every thought. That’s how I feel, Sam. So right now they’re forgiven, but soon enough, with how much joy I’m feeling, I’ll soon enough forget. For good.”

Sam enveloped his friend in a bear hug. Having seen first hand all the pain and agony his friend had gone through because of the betrayal, this moment was an answer to his secret prayers. His friend was healed.

On their way home, his friend was practically skipping. It felt like he was floating on air. He smiled at him. “The air feels much lighter, doesn’t it?”

Patrick laughed. “More than words can say, friend. More than words can say.”

Wrote this because I know first hand how much hold resentment could have on a person. That feeling like you’re caged without a way out. The walls feel like they’re closing in on you. And you feel yourself getting smaller in heart and even in mind.

Too much comes with resentment as an emotion. And genuinely, I don’t feel it should be classified as just as an emotion. Because you can feel it so deeply, it transforms into a personality on its own.

And then the bliss that comes with being free and how unmatched it is. Especially if said resentment has held you down for so long. The sky is a lot brighter because you’re no longer holding people and incidents in your heart anymore. Dare I say you’re healed more physically than you even are emotionally because holding that much weight in your heart must definitely hazards.

I’m glad the Hive Naija Community brought a prompt this thoughtful to light. Let’s let go of that weight. Set our hearts free, and see all the colour that returns from then on.

Jhymi🖤

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