Tradition or Punishment: Troubles a widow have to go through in the name of tradition.
Sometimes, we stick to an old tradition that even after being educated we know that such things shouldn't be done but some people are hellbent on such traditions should be upheld not until it happens to them and they can't do anything. Let's take an example of the killing of twins in the southern part of Nigeria. It was a tradition because they believed twins bring bad luck but such tradition and belief have been abolished due to the intervention of some smart educated individuals.
But that isn't what we are here to discuss today, we are here to talk about some extremely unfair traditions against women and it isn't just against women, these women are widows. Relax, I will tell you about it but before I do, I will let you know this is one of the #octoberinleo prompts. At the end of this blog, I will drop a link for you to read everything you need to know about the prompt, so let's continue.
Today, I will open your eyes to some of the traditions that are still in practice in the Igbo land of Nigeria and these traditions are something a woman who has just lost her husband must go through. In Igboland, the widow’s mourning of her deceased husband is an essential tradition that the living spouse must observe in honor of the dead even if she doesn't want to do it.
1. Shaving of the woman's hair.
This is an unfair tradition. I really don't know what the people want to use the hair for (Probably sell it) but why go that far to shave off a woman's hair who just lost her husband? Isn't she in pain already, why do you want to add to her pain? She will be mourning her husband as she mourns her hair.
In Igboland, it is believed that the beauty of a woman is for her husband only. Her hair is therefore shaved to show that the woman is no longer in need of her beauty, at least while the mourning is ongoing. She's allowed to grow it again after the mourning is over.
2. Giving of condolence gift on the floor or in an unhealthy bucket.
The reason they do this to the widow is because they believe she's no longer clean enough to receive anything with her hand. After all, she has lost her husband. In some Igbo clans, this goes to demonstrate her unwillingness to benefit from her husband’s demise. More like "I don't want your gifts so you won't think I am the one that killed my husband, just put it on the floor"
3. She's not meant to eat the same food as people who attend the funeral.
The widow is not allowed to eat anything that is prepared for her husband's burial because it is a common belief that if she does, she will die. So what they do is that they prepare her food separately and that's the only thing she must eat during the burial ceremony. Now lastly.
4. A fixed amount for the mourning period
In some Igbo clans, a woman is not allowed to mourn the way she wants, some set of people will fix a period of mourning for her and some depend on the time given to her, she shall continue to mourn her husband without moving on. Sometimes one year, to five three years can be given to her. During this period, she will be watched thoroughly to see if she's truly mourning the death of her husband. Also, during this period, she's meant to put on black outfits only.
In Conclusion.
It is sad to see that some women still go through all this suffering all in the name of tradition that needs to be upheld. Why should a widow go through all that and more? Yes, there are more but it might burden the heart to read it all.
I hope people around the world can grow and stand for these women so they can mourn peacefully and the way they want to, not the one that was defined by traditions. Let's show our women love because no good women deserve to cry. In Bob Marley's words "No Woman No Cry". Thanks for reading.
Remember, at the beginning of the blog, I told you I would be dropping a link for you to see other topics in the #octoberinleo daily prompt. Well, here is it Link I hope you join and I see your entry. See you later.
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Master piece by a True Crafts man.
Funny how the shaving of hair resonated so much with me, I saw a lot of Nigerian movies while growing up.
🚶
The others... Scratch that... All of them seem absurd to me for real. Like is it her fault that her husband passed on?
God bless all widows out there, mummy God bless you most.
Thank you for sharing with Us
🙌🏾
It’s not easy to lose someone special or a loved one but going through all that all in the name of tradition as a widow seems kinda unfair to me.
Big hearts to every woman who has lost someone special
I totally agree with you.
What I find interesting is how we in this part of the world basically pick traditions that help us oppress others.
Even from the Western culture that we so copy, all that was picked by a large number of Africans is to make themselves look or feel larger than their kinsmen.
I am already pouring my frustration into the whole gist.
Again. God bless all widows out there.
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These practices are barbaric and unfair to women because I don't hear about Igbo men going through such things if his wife should die.
There are many more that I have heard about too and this makes me wonder why the woman would subject herself to such things when there is a law to help them out of it.
I don't think there is a particular cruel tradition that a man have to go through when he lost his wife which makes me feel bad for these women.
Well, there are laws but I don't know if this laws are protecting the women and its only people that knows the law that would do it.
That's true.
Unfair practices indeed
Unfair and barbaric.
In some places the woman is passed down to the late husband's brother, uncle or her step son 😑. Women are endangered species. One day every woman will rise and say enough is enough!
I feel bad that woman have to go through all this all in the name of tradition, and it’s crazy how they are passed from one man to another after the demise of her husband 😔😔
Really crazy indeed.