RE: Sam’s Hangout #111 - “INDIVIDUAL DIFFERENCES AND TOLERANCE”

Individual differences and tolerance—this topic came at the right time. I was in a situation yesterday with a colleague from work who always feels like she can boss everybody around.

I've always known this girl right from school days, and I mean she can be a bit mischievous and bossy. She always wants to be in control. Till we started working together, every little thing that happens, any little misunderstanding, any little mistake, she would find her opportunity to yell and shout at you in so many ways. So let me tell you a short story about something that happened yesterday.

We had some workers doing construction at the office, and I had to travel back to the village because I normally go back every weekend to see my mom. We have this key that we use to lock up the general house; we all know that keys have four keys that I used to unlock it. I bought the key myself, and she collected the four keys and kept them to herself. On a normal day, we are three workers, and everybody is supposed to have at least one of the keys so that if one person is around and the other isn’t, we would be able to access every corner of the office. But no, this young lady would rather keep all the keys to herself.

So yesterday, when I wanted to lock up the main building and leave the gen house open because I brought in the generator inside, the workers could keep their tools there if they were going, and it would be safe. That was the idea. When it was time to leave, we were stepped out together, and she changed the plan all of a sudden. She said they should use the key to lock the gate instead on a normal day we just bolt the gate and lock the main house because it had iron doors. I objected saying their equipment would not be safe. She insisted I brought the padlock to use this gate and gave it to the worker at the gate when they were going. Then I remembered that I was with this key; I had already packed up my stuff, and I said I would bring out the key and give it to her. Then we left the office. I had it in mind to bring out that key; it’s just that we were talking, and I did not remember it again. Then I traveled back to the village, which is about one hour and 30 minutes away from umuahia.

Then she called me at 8:00 PM and was shouting. Immediately I picked up the phone, I just heard her screaming. I had my AirPods in, and I literally had to remove them so she does not burst my eardrums. She kept on screaming I should come from my village and bring the key for her. I was like, how exactly do you expect me to come from the village this night at 8:00? I said I remembered to give you that key; just that I forgot about it because what I had in mind was the initial plan, even when the plan was changed. If you came to me to give you that key, it’s just that we were discussing something else, and I forgot it. Okay, you actually have a spare key somewhere inside the house. Can you tell somebody to help you climb over the gate? The gate is not a high gate; they can climb over the gate and unlock the big gate for you. She was like no, that they will say the house is porous, that she is under the rain, and all that.

There was no possibility of me coming from the village, but she just had to call me like 10 times, scream and shout, and say all manner of things. I had to hear her voice and she couldn’t even calm down at that point to look for a solution to her own situation, knowing that I’m far. She just wanted to shout; , but she wanted me to turn to Catwoman, I can't fly to give her the key and come back. I was already out of town.

So finally, when she decided to be a little bit calm, I told her to tell our neighbors son to climb in and open the big gate for her; that is the only solution we have this night. If you can’t do that, then I don’t know what else you would do because if am in your situation right now; would I call you from your village to start yelling at you to bring a key for me when I know that that solution is clearly impossible?

Mind you, a lot of things have been going on in the office, yes, and I mean the normal thing for her to shout. I hate being shouted at; I do not appreciate it at all. I like approaching things in a very clear manner until it reaches the point that, oh my, you don’t have any choice but to shout. You don’t just call people and start shouting. You are in a situation where you clearly need to find a solution to help yourself, or all you could do is call me and start saying come from the village. How is that even going to be possible?

Speaking of individual differences and power, when we started working together, I noticed that power changed this girl. We have this lady that was working with us; her name is Eucharia. She was the one that employed both of us because she told me about the job opportunity. That lady, her name is Eucharia, treated us so calmly and gently that we never had issues with her in that office until this same girl, Benita, betrayed her and rebelled. She snitched on her to our boss.

I've seen a lot of things in that office that would have made me want to rebel against her or shout at her or do some kind of things, but for the sake of her being my friend, I always consider our friendship first. But this is obvious that right now we have individual differences, and she cannot tolerate me because she cannot tolerate half of the attitude that I have tolerated.

Everything about her is shouting, shouting, shouting. You must shout. Is anybody your house help? Do you just see people and decide to treat them anyhow like they don’t matter to you, including your friends, just because you are in a position?

I don’t know, but truly, power changes people. Individual differences change every day; tolerance changes every day. We need to be more tolerant, we need to be more tolerant. It is highly needed; if not, we will not coexist in peace with anybody.

For me, I’m not someone who is easily pushed to anger. I have learned from family and school to always control my anger. If I’m in trouble or something, and okay, it was somebody’s fault, I don’t just call the person and yell. I try to handle it myself first, then talk about it like responsible adults with that person.

If I don’t want to be shouted at, the same way I would not want to just start shouting at another person. It does not make sense; two people cannot be mad at the same time. Despite the fact that we have different individual differences and tolerance levels, we should learn to consider others and not just do things for the sake of being angry. At the end of the day, you would regret that you would definitely need them somewhere in life, we all definitely need each other in one aspect of life. You don’t know when you will meet somebody, and you would say because of your individual differences or your low tolerance, you lost the person to anger. Who is not angry in this country? Everybody is literally angry in this country. Everything makes everybody angry. Sometimes you sleep, and you wake up angry. Do you just go about and start shouting at people? No.

At the end of the day, I made it known to her that you see this thing of you shouting at me, at any chance you get. I won’t tolerate it again from you. I have tolerated it, and I would not tolerate it again. For me, if you have sense and feel you are responsible, and you think you can boss everybody around, no problem; do it more calmly. Learn how to keep that your individual differences, let’s say I don’t know you for many years; you would not disrespect me anyhow.

Let’s put our individual differences aside and be able to tolerate and accommodate people for the near future. You don’t know where you would meet somebody, and the person would be in a position to help you.

Inviting
Good morning my loves
How was your night?

@afrikens
@zali.bee
@marsdave
@goldenproject
@rishagamo