Proud To Be Single? #comedyopenmic

avatar

Gliding among the clouds my eyes were trying to find the mysterious hairs but wait…… before I could glance at them I heard a loud voice and it wasn't the soft tone. Instead, I was instructed to stay within limits. Wait, did I turn on the end journey before giving you the trailer? So I am the person who has been awarded not for having a genius mind but for something else unusual. I am a gold medalist in holding the single status for the last 23 years haha. Don't compute my age now, my heart is still young.

DLMMQB23 147.1 million km AWAY FROM SUn PROS -I CAN eat 2 zingers in one sitting cons -I gained some weight (1).png

I don't remember how many transformations I had, from bodybuilding to growing a beard I have done everything to seduce the ladies. But to my bad luck, even the aunties didn't like me. I am endeavoring to get rich now. Maybe this will bless me with a lady. Recently, my friends managed a date for me by using a dating app. I don't know how much they have told an untruth about my personality. May Lord count their wrong deeds doubly for this. I met her at the appointed time although I was 2 hours before her and did the sweeping of that cafe. She played with my emotions as six others guys were also invited for the date. So I was with five other single guys washing the dishes in the evening shift.

7dkrvh.jpg

I remember the gym time period I had, I used to take classes thrice a day although before opening I spent all the time in scrubbing the gym mirrors. So in short there was a girl, you can call her a healthy girl as she was fluffy. I had butterflies in my lungs, heart, pancreas, bladder, and even in my kidney too. We used to see deeply each other. We chatted for 20 minutes each day as she got tired after so much workout. I did twinning with her outfits although I had to wear a men's dress over it. After 3 months of blind dating, I found out that she was in love with a trainer. The wink she showed wasn't meant for me, I wish I could scrub that mirror with more exertion too.

MY GF On first date.png

I grew my beard for the purpose too, but what I got was finding white hair in the food. I transitioned and dyed my hair but instead of looking cool, I looked sloth. My oily, wavy hair was so uneven that I couldn't cover the warts of baldness. I am thinking of calling the Fifa team to organize the next football world cup on my forehead.

7dkv18.jpg

Now coming to the ending point, I ended my life as someone suggested to me that afterlife everyone will get a good-looking wife. But seems like before this patch I have to receive the dividends of my deeds. Hey hey, don't take me I have to tell the Hivers who must be my dream girl. I am catching a glimpse of myself as the groom wait wait.....

NOTE: All memes are edited by me from imgflip meme generator.

qjrE4yyfw5pJD9LKQ1BG3NbSyKTowh8wnMyt99dddua4U41rZmpEeZf2o8BwWGgNBRCrCf9Rmzna4biVLCpU9f9uPbkBv73RzRynuaVKDqeD3ohUhbFD1znr.png

Wanna read more? Check out: I Know 6 Languages!

Coming back to the "Urdu" Language, Urdu is the official language of Pakistan. Most people of Pakistan can understand Urdu. We also learned Urdu as a subject in school in all grades. A memory of me related to learning Urdu is writing an ad in 8th grade in the Urdu language. I wrote an ad for "Paddle Pop Giggly jelly". It was a question for example with I attempted but as I got 10 out of 10 marks in that question and it was a creative category question, I still can't forget it. We were taught Urdu in many creative ways through stage drama performances, poetry, presentations, and much more.
I would be fair to say that I can speak, write, read and understand the Urdu language.

qjrE4yyfw5pJD9LKQ1BG3NbSyKTowh8wnMyt99dddua4U41rZmpEeZf2o8BwWGgNBRCrCf9Rmzna4biVLCpU9f9uPbkBv73RzRynuaVKDqeD3ohUhbFD1znr.png

Wanna vote for dlmmqb's posts? Never miss a post by setting up an autovote with Hive.Vote.

Delegate HP to dlmmqb to show support!

qjrE4yyfw5pJD9LKQ1BG3NbSyKTowh8wnMyt99dddua4U41rZmpEeZf2o8BwWGgNBRCrCf9Rmzna4biVLCpU9f9uPbkBv73RzRynuaVKDqeD3ohUhbFD1znr.png


Consider Supporting me by using my referral links:


Release your inner Rock Star with RisingStar! #playforfree #play2earn


A new era of card battle games, Try Splinterlands! #play2earn


Put your idle Splinterlands cards to auto-renting with Splex.GG! #automation


Become a Digital farmer with dcrops and grow your own NFTs! #play2earn


qjrE4yyfw5pJD9LKQ1BG3NbSyKTowh8wnMyt99dddua4U41rZmpEeZf2o8BwWGgNBRCrCf9Rmzna4biVLCpU9f9uPbkBv73RzRynuaVKDqeD3ohUhbFD1znr.png



0
0
0.000
36 comments
avatar

@idksamad78699 @amberkashif @nkemakonam89
Thanks for giving me a suggestion to write about singlehood.

0
0
0.000
avatar

Smiles 😂
All these memes...I guess it has something to do with this singlehood comedy..xd
Well, I am coming back to feed my ears and eyes... it's been a busy day for mummy Nk

0
0
0.000
avatar
(Edited)

Even if someone is busy, my recaps will keep reminding them about my previous blogs. Maybe just incase if you skip this now, you might read it from one of my recaps. :)

Wanna read more?

0
0
0.000
avatar

Skip you said? Lolz not this one
I just finished enjoying the comedy...lol

I wasn't in the right frame of mind to engage better yesterday after lots of house chores , I had to just reblog so I don't forget to read it....glad I just did!
That was a fantastic comedy post
I loved it❤️👍

0
0
0.000
avatar

This post has been manually curated by @bhattg from Indiaunited community. Join us on our Discord Server.

Do you know that you can earn a passive income by delegating to @indiaunited. We share more than 100 % of the curation rewards with the delegators in the form of IUC tokens. HP delegators and IUC token holders also get upto 20% additional vote weight.

Here are some handy links for delegations: 100HP, 250HP, 500HP, 1000HP.

image.png

100% of the rewards from this comment goes to the curator for their manual curation efforts. Please encourage the curator @bhattg by upvoting this comment and support the community by voting the posts made by @indiaunited.

0
0
0.000
avatar

😂.
This is quite hilarious. Especially your tinder profile.
You'll still find the one, just don't give up. 🙂

0
0
0.000
avatar

I am waiting for someone to understand the last meme bottom right corner. Please also have a look and try to understand the reference 🙂

0
0
0.000
avatar

This is so funny 😂
First, this—"the aunties didn't like me"😭
Then, this— "am thinking of calling the Fifa team to organize the next football world cup on my forehead"😂

But just be you, don't stress it... You'll definitely find someone

lovely story♥️👌

0
0
0.000
avatar
(Edited)

Idksamad will find relatable to first one haha....

While second joke would easily put mahirabdullah in charm cause he is a diehard fan of football.

Tip: If you wanna impress my single friend mahirabdullah, just talk about football hahhaha

0
0
0.000
avatar

You might be ready to take the baton from him.... It's all about single people yunno 😂😂

0
0
0.000
avatar

This is definitely a great piece, been a while I saw such beautifully scripted piece.

You'll definitely find more than one with these your fine wordings

0
0
0.000
avatar
(Edited)

It's just about me respecting my readers time and attention. My english skills are basic. So it takes me alot of days to come up with words such as gliding (the first word of blog). When we put our heart and soul in writing and look for appropriate words to description us with google translate, it becomes easier.

From this post prespactive I only want one and her only condition is being alive.

0
0
0.000
avatar
(Edited)

I am endeavouring to get rich now

Haha 😂, this will definitely work in getting your dream girl but you might not be her dream man, I hope you understand?

0
0
0.000
avatar

From this post's perspective, she just have to be alive haha

0
0
0.000
avatar

Haha, as long as you are contented, no worries then.

Good luck👍.

0
0
0.000
avatar

Ppppooookkkkkeeeemmmoooonnn, gotta catch them all. Haha

0
0
0.000
avatar
(Edited)

This is really hilarious 🤣🤣🤣what took You to hell? Do you think you would have seen your dreams girl there?
What if your dream girl doesn't want a rich guy with beards?
It's the first meme for me"I don't want abs I want a girl".
This is a beautiful and creative write up.

0
0
0.000
avatar

what took me to hell? Hmmm, the answer lies in the last meme bottom right corner. It's a small easter egg but a twist to make it a little harder to find. I don't wanna give more easter eggs about this answer.

What if your dream girl doesn't want a rich guy with beards?

Life happens. :)

0
0
0.000
avatar

Don't compute my age now, my heart is still young.

Hehehe, heart is young but the numbers are high😀

I am endeavoring to get rich now

That is the fastest way to get a lady by the way😂, they love rich men a lot, hehehe.

That was a great piece, so hilarious

0
0
0.000
avatar

Don't compute my age now, my heart is still young.

Hahaha 😂🤣🤣 really? Lolz

I have done everything to seduce the ladies.
Hmmm, I see your effort, ranging from body building, growing beards.. and the likes 😂, yet my gender refused to love DLM...so funny ...

GET that dollars and my genders will cluster around you 😂

After 3 months of blind dating, I found out that she was in love with a trainer.

Oops !! What a heart break 🤣🤣🤣
After the whole butterflies dancing 🦋 🦋 in Ur belly, liver , pancreas and kidney.. hahaha 😂, DLM is a comedian 😂
Respect sir! Xd

That meme of your first date says it all 🤣🤣
So sorry..lol

Hahaha 😂🤣🤣 , I think FIFA team has got a cool work to do on Ur forehead 🤣...I love this part special.. hehehe

Oh my goodness 🤭🤭
DLM, in your last meme.. you went the extra mile of dying because of your girlfriend,? Death!! Lolz , what an adventure to the hell, still Ur name wasn't on the lists 😂😂😂... you even went to extra hell 🤣🤣, still your mission wasn't accomplished.. lolz

Do not worry, you will find her ... just look around you..I mean so close to you there 😂😂

Or perhaps, pay me 500 HBD to find her😉

So creative my dear
Good job!👍

0
0
0.000
avatar

I got inspiration of first meme from one of my close friend. Whenever I ask by anonymous reporter about his location, he always replies x kilometres away from sun.

That football joke was especially written to make my friend mahir laugh. He is a diehard fan of football.

Dieing to get a girl is a easter egg reference. I still can't find a single comment to understand what was the exact incident of death. Although I believe @pravesh0 might be able to find this easter egg cause he can spot the reference in a glimpse. Let's see how it goes.

Also, no thanks. 500 hbd is too high cost.

0
0
0.000
avatar

Wow, I will love to see what @pravesh0 will come up with.
Till then...

0
0
0.000
avatar

One of the ultimate goals of being a Muslim is to attain Jannat or Jannah ( heaven) and you should be getting Hoors or women there. But what if you were put in some extra hell... haha

0
0
0.000
avatar

"Extra hell" lol

Waise kitni hoor milni thi? 72

0
0
0.000
avatar

I thought u will understand the reference of usama/osama from family guy. Since nobody understood it till now, in last meme I gave a reference to 9/11 attack that I did jihad on advice of osama bin laden just to get a gf.

0
0
0.000
avatar

I got that part, but I don't remember the exact no. of hoors promised (someone told me though). 🤔

0
0
0.000
avatar

The word used is sattar which could be seventy in urdu/hindi. But translators says in Arabic to translation it meant "kaaye" meaning many.

So while some say seventy, some say it's undefined.

0
0
0.000
avatar

Lolz.

I can help you find a girl my boy. Dont worry.
But it will cost you some money🙂

Or han aik sher yad aya

Ab to ghabra k kehty hain k mar jayengy
Mar k bhi chain na paya to kidhr jayengy

0
0
0.000