5 kinds of self-care (+ 2 you may not have thought of) | Day 19 of HiveBloPoMo

Self-care. The simplest definition is doing things to care for oneself. But what truly constitutes self-care?

Does getting a pedicure fit the category of self-care?

Does having a beer at the end of a long day count?

What about treating yourself to a nice new dress, is that a kind of self-care?

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To me, true self-care is deeper than all of these things. Self-care is about deeply caring for your physical, mental and/or emotional well being.

It's not about rewarding "good behaviour" by buying a tasty snack. It's not about drowning out a difficult day by pouring yourself an oversized glass of wine. And it's not about doing some to make yourself look pretty if your motivation is to "keep up with the Joneses".

Self-care is deeply nurturing behaviour that genuinely helps improve the quality of your life.

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So let's talk about a few kinds of self-care that I've identified and also look at some examples of each. (And I'd love to see your ideas in the comments too! So keep reading to see what I share and then please do share in the comments; I value your ideas on this).

1. Body maintenance

Brushing and flossing your teeth could be an example of this. We need our teeth and gums to be healthy in order to continue eating and digesting our food well, so proactively and consistently doing the simple things like brushing and flossing (and going to the dentist for a thorough cleaning, if that's available to you) is an obvious (and important!) example of this kind of self-care.

Rolling (on a foam roller) or stretching or getting a massage are all other good examples of body maintenance. Anything you can do to help maintain the (amazing!) body you have, in my mind, falls into this kind of self-care.

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2. Body repair

There are so many ways we can help the body repair from its day-to-day stresses (as well as any illnesses or injuries we might have experienced). The most important of these and the one that is probably overlooked the most is that simple thing called sleep. Our body knows how to heal itself, we just need to create an environment that supports the healing to happen. Sleep and other types of deep rest (such a yin yoga and meditation) are essential to healing.

Going to see a chiropractor, an osteopath or a physiotherapist (if they're available to you) is another great way to get support to repair your physical body.

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3. Social engagement

We are social animals. We literally need each other. The way so many of us, especially in "the West" who live in nuclear family units or even alone which makes us very isolated and for almost all humans isolation leads to depression.

We need community. We need to commune with one another. We need to eat and talk and raise our children together. We need to be together to be well.

So however your life is structured, if you don't feel like you socialise a lot with people who you really love and who love you, then may this be a prompt to consider how you could increase your engagement with other humans. Ideally you spend more time with people who adore you (and you them) but at the very least hanging out with other humans who have several things in common with you will still help you feel more connected.

While sinking a beer alone on the couch is arguably damaging yourself, drinking that very same one beer surrounded by friends where you laugh and smile and share stories about your week could very well be one of the best (or at least, easiest) forms of social self-care available to you.

Other ways you might get this social connection could be singing in a choir, running with a run club, or joining some kind of art class that meets each week. There are so many options here. If you feel like you're a little disconnected from the world and unsure where to start, think about an activity you enjoy and then see if there's some kind of class or meet up in your town or city where you could do that same activity with others.

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4. Doing things that make you happy

Consider the things that make you genuinely happy (not numbing out pain like so many various kinds of drugs or shopping or binge-watching Netflix, but actually joyful) and do these regularly. For me these things include dancing in my kitchen to my most recent favourite songs, listening to the many birds in our garden, and hugging my man.

(Arguably this last one could come under social engagement, but the point of this list is more to get you thinking about the many ways you can improve the quality of your life through deliberate self-care, rather than providing clearly delineated lists).

Many of us have been taught that play is for children and now that we're adults we have to be serious and responsible. But too much focus on these two things leads to unhappy and unhealthy adults.

So from time to time, put the adulting aside for a minute or two or three and just do something silly and fun. You'll feel better for it. My official prescription is to do at least one silly/fun thing per day. If you have the time/space you can do this far more often or for much longer stretches than just a handful of minutes. See what fits into your life. I bet you have time to swing on that swing set if only you give yourself permission to do so 😉

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5. Finding a way to express how you feel

There are so many ways you can do this. You can do it here on Hive. You can talk to friends or family members who are good at listening (as opposed to dismissing how you feel, judging or endlessly giving you advice). You can write in a journal or talk to your cat or dog or horse or guinea pig! (Pets make great listeners because they don't interrupt or criticise you).

However you do it, finding a way to (regularly) express how you feel is essential to your well being. Many humans, across many cultures, delude themselves into thinking that they are thinking creatures who occasionally feel some kind of annoying emotion. But the sciences that study human behaviour, psychology and such things tell us clearly that we are feeling creatures first, foremost and always. (Source)

So find a safe way to get out how you're feeling about your day, your week, your life. It's a non-negotiable form of self-care that will help you to live a happier, healthier and even possibly a longer life.

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6. Discharging energy from your nervous system

Here is a form of self-care that many people don't think about or even know about. I had zero idea how important this was until I started studying energy fields and noticing how much of other people's energy I was picking up during my day.

If you're a spiritual hippy like me, or have done any training in the nervous system (as I have), then you'll know that the body is electromagnetic. We are, in essence, full of electricity. And we can (and do) pick up charges from other people and our environment. Thankfully, we can discharge energy from our system (body) as well.

If you're sceptical or you've never heard of this before just consider for a moment how different you feel in your body when you're in a restless crowd of people commuting to work versus when you're at the beach with enough space to walk in any direction you like. It's different, right?

Not convinced? How about this:

Think about a time when you've been in a work meeting where people didn't want to be there. Now think about being at a funeral and how that felt. Now consider how different it felt when you stood outdoors and watched a horse running freely, an elephant walk past, or a bird soar through the air.

Your environment--including the people and the animals and the trees and the buildings--all affect you. Every single day you're picking up stuff. Therefore a super easy way to care for yourself is to regularly discharge the stuff you pick up.

Walking barefoot on the earth--whether that's sand at the beach or dirt near your house or grass in your front yard--is a free, easy way to let go of anything you've picked up that isn't yours to carry.

Another way you can let stuff go is to move your body, ideally in a way that feels really good to you. Swim, if you wish. Ride a bike. Go rollerskating. Do a yoga session. Run on trails through the bush or forest. (The latter is one of my personal favourites).

If you can, a walk along the beach followed by getting in the ocean could possibly be the best option of the lot if this is available to you, as you get the grounding affect of the sand, the cleansing of the saltwater and the negative ions of the ocean.

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7. Honouring your yes and your no

This is the last kind of self-care on my list and another that most people don't think of when thinking about how to take care of oneself. It's only something that I've become more aware of in the last few years as I've tapped into my body wisdom through everything Human Design has taught me about me.

But if you think about it, it makes total sense. If you say "yes" to something when your whole body wants to say "no", obviously your body doesn't want to do or experience that thing. To override the body and do it anyway, hurts the body.

The same is true when we say "no" when we want to say "yes". Arguably this situation comes up less often. But what if the opportunity might bring us joy or connection or love--things that nurture and help the body to thrive--and we allow our mind to say "no" on our behalf because we think we need to be an adult and be responsible instead of playing? We've just missed an opportunity to do something that would have genuinely fueled the body.

So my suggestion (before I wrap this epically long post up!) is to say "yes" to your "yes" as often as you practically can, and honour your "no" by saying "no" as often as you practically can. It might be uncomfortable. You might surprise or upset people. But if you have to disappoint someone just make sure it isn't you ;)

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Did you discover a new kind of self-care that you hadn't thought of before? Or was there something in here that sounds like you'd like to add it to your life (to add more life to your life 😁)? Or is there something you LOVE to do to look after yourself that I didn't mention here? If so, please share in the comments!