When a Lost Gig Taught Me More Than a Win Ever Could

last week(edited)

I don’t think I’ll ever forget how a small loan turned into one of my most embarrassing angry outbursts. It started so simply. I saw this ad online “Instant mobile loans in 5 minutes, no collateral.” At the time, I was under pressure with bills and unexpected family needs. I thought, Why not? It felt like a lifesaver.

True to their promise, the money arrived in minutes. I was so relieved. I planned to pay back early just to avoid any issues. But life had other ideas. Work I was counting on fell through. There were other pressing costs that kept arising. Then, suddenly, I blew the repayment date and couldn’t get it done.

That’s when things got ugly. The calls started at first polite reminders. I explained my situation, hoping for some understanding. But they didn’t care. They began calling me morning, afternoon, and night. Some would call repeatedly within an hour. It felt like they wanted to break me down with sheer pressure.

But what truly got to me was the disrespect. They didn’t just remind me I was insulted, threatened, and mocked. One agent outright told me I was “irresponsible” and “a fraud.” Some threatened to message my contacts. That part hit me hard. I pictured them texting extended family and friends, making it appear that I were ducking a paltry payment.

I did my best to stay cool about it, but it colored my world. I was embarrassed, backed into a corner, and frustrated. I kept thinking, I didn’t take this money to scam anyone. I just fell behind.

Then came that call. One of the agents was particularly nasty, shouting and mocking me, calling me names. That was it. I snapped. I shouted right back. I cursed. I told them off in words I’d be embarrassed to repeat here.

When I ended the call, my hands were shaking. Not just from anger, but from shame. I didn’t realize I had completely let go like that. All my life I’d been the one who prided myself on staying cool, on not allowing people to pull me down to their own level.

But the reality is, I was forced over the edge. That loan was small, but the emotional cost was massive. It taught me a hard lesson. I had to take a long look at myself and admit that while they were wrong to disrespect me, I was wrong to let them get me to that point.

Since then, I’ve changed how I handle money. I’m more careful about borrowing, especially from those easy-click apps. I plan better, save more, even if it’s just small amounts. I don’t want to grant anyone that kind of license to speak so rudely to me again.

I also realized that anger isn’t the answer, you only end up feeling worse. Now, if it gets to me, I try to take a deep breath, get up and walk around a bit, tell myself that name-calling doesn’t make something true.

It’s not always easy. But I will take a lost scream fight over a loss of dignity any day. That one second of me snapping showed me a lot more about myself than I thought it would and I’m just glad for the lesson, even if I wish I didn’t have to learn it that way.

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