Enough Time

I think for many there is a daily battle happening against time. Some are fortunate and don't have this, they can meander along and not mind the time.

Although, is it really time that I tend to have an issue with? Always clawing my way out of some sinkhole.

If I think about it, it is not that I don't have time. I guess it is obvious to most. We all have the same 24 hours. It is hard to not just generally term things as "I need more time."

For me, I use time as a replacement for anything that distracts me from what I want to do. I simply say I need more time.

More often than not I mean: "I need to get this out of my life."

It might be different for others, but I am quite set in doing what I want to do within constraints. If I am home and I want to watch videos then that is something I will do, things that interrupt me then are time sucks.

There is no difference for example when I am at work. If I have things I want to do or mainly have just work to do on the PC. Then I am fine. The moment something interrupts that. Then they or it is a timesuck.

There is very little worse than these timesucks.

As I said it is not really time though.

Space

I guess it could be space. Seeing as space has so many dimensions it probably makes sense I equate it to time.

Just assuming I need more time does not get me anywhere. I can't buy time or find the time. I can though remove people, things, habits and hopefully then just use my time the way I wish.

That is why it would be very different for others; imagine someone wanting more people in their life to achieve the same result. To me that sounds absolutely horrid.

Yet, it seems like this is something I naturally achieve. It is rather frustrating that I have always positioned myself at the center of everything I despise.

Don't like people? Sure then why not be a waiter?

That is exactly what I did.

Don't like answering mundane questions and doing things at everyone's whim? Sure be a designer and shop assistant.

That is exactly what I did.

That is exactly what I am doing.

Fortunately slowly but steadily I have learnt to push away more and more of these things. Slowly but surely, minding my time I will claim my space.

I tend to wait for breaking points. There are breaking points in everything, it can be extremely stressful to maintain the tension to get that final break.

If you think broadly about society; that tension you feel. That is what deep down those who observe wish would break no matter the outcome.

In the end, there is always hope for a decisive path forward.

For society, there is no hope of something like that though. There is no way people will ever reach a point of reason.

Luckily I don't need to be concerned with that, nothing will change until I die in the world. Everything can change before I die in my little bubble of space.

I guess this was just a sunday musing, almost as good as a breaking point; is knowing that it is coming with certainty.