When Reasonable isn't Enough

Lately, I am doing more to focus on how I respond to things that I cannot control. In a recent conversation with someone that had negative outcomes, I was reminded of something I had actually forgotten for a long time now: you may be reasonable, but not everyone is.

Apparently, there had been an underlying issue that I had been unaware of until it almost escalated. Being the leader, I had to step in at some point and intervene. When I eventually heard from both sides, I realised that the issue was, and then I thought to introduce a compromise that would at least bring peace, particularly to the recalcitrant one.

Warned by my colleagues who knew him well, I prepared myself for the worst kind of situation that could happen. Or so I thought. In the end, the particularly recalcitrant one turned the conversation on its head and downright chose to be obnoxious, disrespectful, and unreasonable.

I became seriously agitated at some point, but I remained cool, simply because the cause I was there for was greater than fighting back—which, in all honesty, isn't something I like to do. I am a peaceable person, unless I have to put my foot to the ground when it is necessary.

Understandably, I wasn't proposing the solution that he had in mind. Rather, I was proposing something that would continue to make him feel uncomfortable. His solution was selfish, insensitive, and presumptuous. I, on the other hand, deemed his solution to be all that I have described it to be: totally wicked and not feasible (at least for now). And that's how this individual said to me, in a very aggressive and appalling manner, "Leave my room."

Unfortunately, this same individual I had this fruitless conversation with was on the other end of the rope months ago, needy for the same help he's depriving someone of. And if someone else had chosen to be wicked as he was choosing to be and all odds weren't in his favour, he would have remained humble as he was in the beginning. Now I had my kindness thrown in my face.

I forgot that not everyone's reasonable, that it really is way out of my control, and that I shouldn't allow that to disturb my balance internally. And so, I thought to myself to wash my hands clean of the matter and let those above me handle it. Then, I proceeded to do the things that made me feel happy and fulfilled to get over it all. Though I was very calm through it all, I had been internally disturbed a bit.

Finding solutions, innovations, and making headway gets me excited. So I picked up one of the projects I had been working on and started focusing my energy on it. Channelling my mind to it not only allowed me to make significant changes and improvements but also took my mind off what had happened earlier. My balance was quickly restored. Of course, I had a chilled bottle of Amstel Malt to go with it.

Maintaining balance, for me, cuts across different things. And attaining it includes a few things like prioritising self-care and mindfulness, setting boundaries and saying "no" when I need to, and practicing gratitude and positivity.

"If you can't move your mind, move your body. And if you can't move your body, move your mind." Jay Shetty said this in one of his podcasts. And so, part of keeping a sound mind for me is "moving my body," and that includes exercising. I find exercising effective in balancing out my emotions, regulating my patterns, and maintaining an optimal state of being. That's part of restoring balance for me, and I try to stick by it.

What's finding balance like for you? Although there are certain directions the community prompt can take, this angle seemed apt to express my thoughts on it.

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